By the end of January, it already had all fallen apart as did I. So fast. So badly. What a loser! I can't say I was depressed. Because for me depression sort of pops up when things are going well and I don't know why I'm feeling it. This was just unbelievable sadness. I was mourning this thing that I had put so much work, time, money and my heart into. So, I took some time to feel sorry for myself..and it was great weather to do just that. Gloomy, dark, cold, rainy ....PERFECT. I was working with a few clients which was perfect because I didn't even have to get out of bed to work with them. I only "HAD" to get up and be presentable one day a week. It was for this one day a week job. Even at the time, I have to admit that this job really took me out of myself. Driving into Nashville, working with the kids, teaching them about musical theater and beating the traffic on the way home. Even noticing each week that it was getting a little lighter for a little longer was great therapy for me.
Then sometime between the beginning and mid February Scott, that dude I'm married to, was listening to me tell a story of one of the kids in the class that I was teaching and said. " Do you know you are kinda spoiled?....You have these children who think you had "something to do " with hanging the moon.AND...you are paid well for it. How can you feel bad?" I realized right there and then that he was right and I do hate when he is completely right. But.... he was. The next day I had an idea of how to salvage everything that I thought was gone...Or how to regain some of it and keep going from there, without investing another dime...Just a lot of hours Days. Weeks. And that is what I have been doing since.
I have a small theater company for kids. This is the 5th year that I've had it actually. I don't talk about it much because I don't use the internet to market it. It's a whole different thing. But anyway, I got busy. And, I'm booked for most of the summer. It took a month and change of phone calls and meetings but it's done and into next semester too.So, long story ummm even longer. This is helping me springboard the other thing which seems less and less important to me everyday.
So, I'm off to San Antonio next week (My second favorite city...Montreal is first but they have that snow thing) for fun and to see this little outdoor theater they have ON THE RIVER!!! So, here's to any of you who's New Year wasn't all you thought it would or should be. Or maybe started out great and fizzled. Just call a "do over" Personally, I really think Spring is a much better time for "New Years" because everything in nature is beginning again.
I'd love to hear comments from you guys although failing and feeling like a loser is hard to write about...But either way...HAPPY HAPPY SPRING!!!