Honestly, that night when I made that comment about my mom suffering through one of the last nights in her life on facebook, I guess I expected some response. I wasn't really thinking about that. I just wanted to scream. My mom was 90 so, I don't feel that she was robbed of any time here on earth. However, she had a hard time leaving this realm. She had so many things wrong with her. Still, she kept on going like the energizer bunny. She even had a form of blood cancer that was effecting her kidneys and because of her age, they couldn't do anything. But, she was strong. All those walks and exercises in her younger years really paid off.
Finally, one night she told the nurses that she no longer wanted to eat...This happened a lot with her. They would get my sister on the phone or sometimes me. We'd tell her she had to keep up her strength, she argue with us and then she'd eat something. Not much, she was like a bag of bones when I saw her 3 weeks before she passed.
This time however, she told my sister that she knew if she stopped eating she would die and that was what she thought was best. She was tired of fighting. We didn't take it all that seriously. But, that was it. She didn't eat again. They couldn't give her a feeding tube because she was too weak. Even an IV put a strain on her heart. So, she sat there for days literally starving to death. This nearly killed me. It was like she turned all her fight inward and then her organs started shutting down and it was past the point of no return. She died a few hours later. It was night and we weren't there but the hospice nurses were. We are so relieved that she didn't die alone and that her suffering was over.
But it was in that frame of mind that I wrote that post..That..."Someone help, my mother is starving to death" mode. I really didn't expect all the wonderful things that all of you would write. Prayers from people who are "my friends" although, I have never met them. You are a wonderful group of people you facebook friends. You made a horrible time much less horrible for me and I will always be grateful to you all!.
I don't think you are ever really prepared to lose your parents. I'm really lucky though besides wonderful friends, cousins and the cutest niece in existence (No really she is), I have an awesome hubby. And a sister who remembers all the things about our parents that nobody else even ever noticed. It sort of keeps them alive. I hadn't spoken to my sister in 2.5 years. That's a long time to be angry. So, my message to you, as your friendly life coach is... Be grateful for every second you have with the people (furry family members and friends too) you love. if you do get angry, as we all will. Get angry, get it out and move the f--- on. The clock isn't going to wait for you and loved ones leave a really big whole when they go.
Are you depressed yet??? Well...
Now, on to happier things...How cool is it that I am interviewed this month in "I AM ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE"???? I think I'll give up this helping aspiring performers find their place in the spotlight and grab a piece of it myself...This feels great!!! (LOL...ahahaha...that's me being sarcastic)
Here is the link...I absolutely love it...please leave comments...CLICK HERE