I'm really not a big baseball fan. I mean I know it's "America's sport" and I love that it goes along with summer and bbq's and other fun stuff. And I did have a good time playing when I was a kid. But, the real game...The one the pros play. It can be so boring. It takes so long just to get through one inning. I want to jump on the field and scream..."Okay let's keep this game moving...You are out, you are up...Come on let's go!!!"

Well, the surprising thing is, even though I'm not a big baseball fan I am a big baseball movie fan. First of all, I was in the movie "The Natural" ...It's true I was. I also love the movie "For the love  of the game" and of course "Field of Dreams"

Baseball is always like a metaphor for life. You know how you can lose but really win or win but really lose. Stories of underdogs rising up and claiming glory. The "Don't ever give up" message. Or someone loses everything only to find something so much better. I love all that stuff.

So, Saturday night I saw a great baseball movie. It's called "The Money Ball" It was just out in the theaters not too long ago and it stars Brad Pitt. Which means you are guaranteed something good to look at even if you don't like the movie. I won't tell to much about it because it is still new. But, the whole movie was about a team reinventing itself. Taking something that only made sense to a few and believing in it no matter what the whole world was saying.

That reminds me of what so many aspiring performers have to do to achieve any real success. I guess it's just as true and difficult for anyone trying to start a new business or find a new way of doing things. It's not an easy place to find. To believe so much that other opinions just don't matter.

The other thing that was brought up in this film was that sometimes we don't even ask ourselves the right questions. So we do get answers but they are answers to the wrong questions so we get NOWHERE!!! It reminded me of what they told us in coaching school. "It isn't about giving your clients the answers...they will find them but only if you ask the right questions." I understood it then (somewhat) but this movie drove the point home so well.

We should always make sure we are asking for the things we really want and that we are sure of what that is...and if we aren't...to keep asking. Change it around...Why do I want what I want? What will it mean if you have this? It may be that the real thing you want is completely different than what you think you want. WOW...say that 5 times fast.

It sure doesn't sound all that clear and I am still learning about all of this myself. But...I think it's just another couple of  pieces in the big puzzle of making our dreams come true...Or finding out what are real dreams are all about.
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Okay, I haven't had this blog or site up for very long at all. But, people have been asking me what I mean in my 'About' section when I say..."The secret to "making it" is quite simple in fact, it isn't a secret at all. It's all about having passion and a plan. It's about replacing doubt with a sincere belief in where and who you are meant to be" Most people understand the passion part. And, even if they aren't completely sure what I mean by "a plan" they agree that some kind of realistic, workable plan is needed. It's that replacing doubt with belief.

I have tried to explain it as being a belief that nobody can possibly take from you. Here's a really silly example. Once, while out with friends, we met a man who works in a lab that makes glasses and contact lenses. He complimented the color of my contact lenses. (???) I thanked him but told him that they were my real eyes. He responded with..."Hey don't kid a kidder. I've been making those lenses for over 20 years...I'm a pro." I sort of laughed and said "okay, whatever??" I really didn't feel the need to argue with him. Nor, did I feel any need to run home and check my eyes with thoughts of "Maybe they are contacts...Maybe my parents had them put into my eyes when I was so young that I don't remember" Nope, I didn't do any of that. I know these eyes are the ones I was born with and no "pro" or "expert" was going to say anything to cause me a second of doubt.

So, I said it was a very silly analogy. BUT...It's the same thing. When you believe relentlessly in what you are able to do, who you are, or why you are here, nobody is going to be able to shake your confidence. No amount of rejection...NONE.Why can't we be just as unwilling to be shaken when it comes to... "I am smart enough", "I am talented enough" of "I am lovable enough" as we are when it comes to the easy stuff, like our eye color?

It is the first step to having your dreams become reality. Besides the fact that this belief will carry you through all the bumps in the road and set backs, it will also probably mean you have much less of them. There is something very attracting about this confidence too. It isn't conceit. Or a "I'm the best" kind of attitude. It is just a confidence that doesn't even need to be spoken. Maybe it's a calmness that goes along with this attitude?

And yes, I know this is all a theory and there is no way to prove it. But, I've seen it over and over again. I've seen people with the  right belief go farther than others with way more talent.

The hard part is how to substitute the doubts we have walked around with for decades with an unshakeable belief? That is the real challenge. For me it's a constant challenge. But... it can be done. Sometimes it happens automatically even if other aspects of your life are filled with doubt.

When I was 15, I was so in love with 'The Ramones'. While the other girls were sweating over who would take them to the dance, my thoughts were all about Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee and ...whoever was the drummer at that particular moment (They had a bunch)  I knew if I ever got to see them in concert there would be nothing on this planet that would stop me from getting back stage, meeting every one of them AND...making enough of an impression (and not an icky one) on them that the next time I saw them...They'd remember me. I finally got to see them in a stadium setting and there were 20,000 (I don't really know it was a big outdoor stadium like place and it was packed. Not as big a stadium like LP Field but that kind of set up.) Most of these people wanted to do the same thing that I wanted to do. The difference was...My brain couldn't take no for an answer. So, I was one of about 5 people who actually made it back stage. I got to meet them and a whole lot of other people way up in the music industry. It was the best time of my life up to that point and to this day remains right up there. I went to so many of their shows after that...I mean a lot well over 20 maybe somewhere in the 30's and was always remembered. That was the first time in my life that I believed I could make anything happen if I wanted it bad enough and couldn't believe in it NOT happening. This proved to be true for me every time. Of course some of the things I wanted...??? Well, that's the subject of another blog. So, now I'm going to let Mr. Tyler Perry explain it in a much better way than I can....
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_First, I want to go on record saying that I  absolutely hate that term. It brings about pictures of overbearing moms who embarrass, humiliate, manipulate  and ruin the lives of their kids just to get them a moment in the limelight whether the child wants it or not.

I think it's scenes like this that come to mind when we talk about "Stage Mothers"
Yeah, Okay, that is kind of funny and an exaggeration. But....not all that much.

The truth we need our parents in every aspect of our upbringing. Kids who are trying to have a career at a young age absolutely need a parent (not just a guardian but someone who truly cares for them) around at all times. To make sure they aren't over worked, treated badly or taken advantage of.Basically to be an all round advocate for them.

While it is so important for the parents to be involved in the career of their children. There is a line that can get crossed. The problem is that it is very hard to see where that line is. Now, my children have always come with fur, a tail and like to say "meow". So, I really don't know much about being a "mom" in the biz or anywhere in life for that matter. However, I have been on the other side. I have cast all kinds of shows with kids in them not alone but as part of a team and plain and simply put... Nobody wants to work with the kid with the overly overbearing mom. A less talented child is more likely to get a part if the family is easier to deal with almost every time. You have to always be a parent first  but there are definite "no no's" when it comes to kids in the biz and their well meaning folks.

1. Don't ever apologize for your child in an audition. "He usually does this song much better" or "He's just getting over a cold"

The directors and casting people just don't care. That isn't to be mean but their job is to find the right person for their show. The just getting over a cold thing is said by everyone young and old...We don't know when it's true or not. So, we aren't going to really take that into consideration unless it becomes so obvious that the kid is really battling just to get through the audition.

The fact that your child usually does the song better may very well be true but I've yet to see a casting person say..."Well, I don't really think he/she has what we want but his/her mom says he/she is usually much better so let's hire him/her. It just isn't going to happen.

If you feel that your child isn't being given the fair chance at an audition you, as a parent, have to bite your tongue, cover your mouth...ANYTHING you need to do to let your child get through it. It has to be sink or swim.

2. Don't tell the casting people how great your child is. Or how he wowed the crowd at his last gig. They know what they are looking for and if they see it, they will use your child. If they don't...Well then no amount of you telling them what a mistake it is not to work with him is going to change there minds. Of course you want to brag. That's what friends, aunts and uncles are for!

3. You have to do exactly what we teach them to do in an audition situation. Stand up, thank them for the opportunity and leave. Walk out of the building and go directly to your car or a cab. Once inside the automobile you can complain, scream or whatever works for you as much as you want. Then you can go home and tell the rest of the family how badly the audition process was. BUT...don't ever let them see you doing this and this goes for everyone in the building too. We all know how gossip gets around.

It can make a huge difference and put your child as a front runner or runner up for a good part even if the audition wasn't perfect.

4. I've seen children brought to tears not because they didn't do their best for a director or casting person but, for letting their parents down. I've seen parents put their kids through so much anguish over forgetting a line.

It isn't worth it. You may be the agent/manager BUT you have to be the parent first. The person who loves them unconditionally. Even when they totally mess up. They know when they haven't done their part right. No amount of disappointment coming from you is going to make them feel worse than they already do. I know it must be frustrating when so much money goes in for training and transportation, only to have your child forget the one line that you begged him to really work on because you knew for whatever reason they were having a problem with it. Of course they didn't listen to you and now...? It's almost impossible not to say "I told you so".

If you really feel that they need some good constructive critiquing, or extra work then hire someone professionally. It shouldn't come from you.

Now, when is it okay to be "The stage mom"? Anytime you see a situation where your child is being treated in a way that is demeaning or degrading to them. This could be other kids putting him down, adults telling him that he isn't good enough...ANYONE...But even then, get your child and leave. Call the person in charge later and talk about it and let it be known that "whatever it is" will not be tolerated. This is so much better than making a scene ...within the scene.

I have worked with parents enough to know that they only want what's best for their kids...They would gladly walk through fire to spare them a bad experience. But trust in the parenting you have already done. These kids are tougher than we realize. They can handle rejection. They can handle idiots. They just need to know that in your eyes they are more than enough. Everything else will become an opportunity to learn.

And hey who knows you may find yourself on the receiving end of something like this one day....

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_  So you've been studying voice.(or another instrument, or dance etc. Singer/songwriter is just an example) You've been working your butt off. Maybe you have one of the best vocal coaches on the planet. You can sing anything. You especially sound amazing when you sing the songs that you've written. You work with experienced co-writers and spend time and money going to workshops to make sure your song is just right! You go to other interactive workshops given by some of the best on-stage coaches in the biz. They work with you on how to create a magical show, with your beautiful songs and your kick ass voice. You're ready to go! But wait....

You still haven't addressed the fact that inside you are filled with doubt. Perhaps, you are terrified of failure? Or maybe the idea of success really freaks you out. Logically, you tell yourself that you are just creating problems. But, that only makes you feel worse. So, you walk around with a knot in your stomach. It could be that anytime there is more than 30 people in the crowd you freeze, or feel as though you are going to pass out while you are up there. Or it might not be 'stage fright' at all. It could be that you just feel silly and awkward up there on stage and don't know how to tell anyone.

You desperately  want to make that connection with your audience. This is all you've dreamed about and trained for but you can't even make eye contact. You may remember hearing, when you were young, that being a performer isn't a "real career" and if you aren't making big $$$ it doesn't count. Maybe you aren't getting along with one of the band members and it's really throwing off your concentration and confidence.

So now what? This is where I come in...(Thank goodness right? Just in the nick of time)I'm a trained coach, certified and everything who specializes in working with performers. I help artists like you cut through all that BS (for lack of better initials)and own the life that you've worked and dreamed about. I can help you get rid of any doubt or fear that may be standing in the way of you achieving those dreams, destroy any negative thinking and continue to grow artistically. Mostly, I can help you experience more joy throughout the entire process. When all is said and done, what else could matter more?

It isn't therapy. I'm not going to take you on a long drawn out trip to your past to find out why you are who you are and then try to fix it. You aren't broken...you don't need to be put back together. Of course your past is part of who you are. But, I'm interested in helping you create the best "today" you can possibly have...and every tomorrow after. I truly want you to have this in your performing and every aspect of your life.

Whether you are a singer, dancer, band, actor....Or whether you are a parent with a child working or aspiring to work in the industry. Look around my site and if any of it makes you think..."Hey!!! That's me" contact me for a free....yes, free, no strings attached session!
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It happens every time.  I return to NY to see my mom and some friends from high school because I am one of the few people who adored high school. I HATED college, but, I loved high school. Anyway, that is hardly what this post is about. I get in the cab and I'm asked "where ya goin?" I tell the driver. I am then asked "where ya comin from?" I say "Nashville". They say "Nashville???" I say "Ya, I work with musicians" They look as though I said martians. They don't get that Nashville really is "MUSIC CITY" and it's awesome. I'm not putting down NY as it is the place of my start in this world and it's a HUGE entertainment capital. As is LA, as is HERE. New York has it's Broadway lights which are second to none, Hollywood, well come on...But this city runs on music. By the way, not just country or country pop(although. the video below is) I saw an interview with Neil Young, who I love. He said something like (paraphrasing) Only in Nashville can you be in the studio and realize you need a classical violinist at 3am, make a phone call and with in 45 minutes that person is there, tuned and ready to go.

But, for those of you who still don't get what I mean. Watch this and then answer....Why would you not want to be part of this? I got this from the CMA (Country Music Association)site but it is on YouTube so I don't think I'm breaking any laws. (HOPE!)They (The CMA), put this together for big advertisers which is not why I want you to see this. It's all about the energy...It's contagious.So,to all you NY city cabbies or anyone else that doesn't understand what the hype is about...(This is the part where you click the arrow.)
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